Balloons and Bickering

A quick story that shows the beauty of friendship and how it transcends and expands.  Three of her friends joined us tonight, after all it's Phoebe's birthday.  Nineteen balloons for anyone wanting to write a note, send it along ...we never really know!  Owen writes three, Mary Claire the same, the girls all send notes of love and missing.  Her three friends draw and write, one finishes first and steps outside to set it free, only to tie it to a chair.  "I don't think Phoebe would approve," she says.  "It's not good for the environment, what if it gets caught in a whale blow hole"  I thought about that, and it's true ...but just for today I tell her.  She goes back inside.  The quiet one sits drawing and writing, the details I know Phoebe loves and appreciates.  In walks the friend who spent years bickering and bantering with Phoebe ...a great love for each other that found a simple joy in the conflict.  She writes quickly, looks outside and sees the tied balloon, and Mary Claire tells her who it belongs to.  "Hey, why aren't you sending it off?"  I tell her "she doesn't think Phoebe would approve." And as quickly as I say it, this dear friend's back is to me, MARCHING out the door.  "Well that settles it, I'm definitely letting mine go! Phoebe would say that and its ridiculous."  As if Phoebe herself had whispered in her friend's ear, admonishing her for so readily dismissing the environmental hazard!
That moment catches me ...friendship, real abiding, honest friendship transcends time.  Phoebe is loved by this friend as deeply as ever ...and this friend knows Phoebe loves her still too ...and the bickering continues.  God can do these things ...He makes love last, makes friendship that never dies ...never tires. 
Three girls, missing the fourth ....changed for sure ...but unchanged too ...amazing!  Phoebe is so well loved.

Eternal rest grant unto Phoebe and may perpetual light shine upon her.  May she rest in peace. Amen

Happy Birthday!

Phoebe would have turned 19 today!  And I would really like to celebrate with her ....  The days approaching have been especially hard, made harder by the normal, and sometimes unusual, demands of regular life.  I don't get a free pass to immerse in my missing ...and that's a blessing in lots and lots of ways.  My friend reminds me that Phoebe is here with me, shoulder to shoulder like she had been for so long.  And so I tell her the things I would if she were here in the flesh with me, all the while trusting she hears me.
I miss this great, robust, adventurous daughter.  I miss her spunk, her song, her smile ....her way.  My next oldest daughter is meastured today, 5' 7 1/2".  We giggle.  At least two inches on me, at least four on Phoebe ...she would have grumbled, always wanting to be tall.  Phoebe was sort of little, but you didn't think of her that way ...  I'm hoping she laughs with us now.
Say a prayer for her today if you would.  It's a special day ....Feast of the Ascension.  I count my blessings that once again all things that fall this way point towards God.  That her birthday should be on this day brings me a lot of comfort ...and hope.  Mass offered for her tonight, gathered with friends and family, in the presence of the Truest Presence of all. 
Pizza, cake and balloons ...I can imagine her kicking each one as it makes its way to her.   It is these things that keep us grounded, keep us hopeful ...keep our hearts open to comfort and the great promise of seeing her again.
God is good and gracious and kind ...even in the hard things, even in the suffering and loss ...even in the challenge of each day ...He is there.
Happy birthday sweet girl ...  Love, Mom

Eternal rest grant unto Phoebe and may perpetual light shine upon her.  May she rest in peace.  Amen.

Nineteen Months

Nineteen Months ...where did they go? 
One of my 'new' friends, shared this song with me ...knowing me well enough to know how much I lean on the Blessed Mother.  And it makes me think of how she is with us, in this world, around the hearts of the hurting.
It also makes me think that this must be how Phoebe saw her too ...and now really does.  Enjoy.
And pray, please, today for the families, the moms and dads ...losing a child on this day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0a4dRI1JMM

Love you Pheebs ...

Eternal rest grant unto Phoebe and may perpetual light shine upon her.  May she rest in peace.  Amen