Yesterday I left one of my patients and told her I'd owe her two hugs the next time I saw her. She told me she was writing that in her book and would make sure she got her due. I was careful with her and extra diligent with hand washing. I didn't want to bring the stomach bug home. Confident I had done everything to prevent catching it ....I woke in the middle of last night slammed with an unrelenting upset stomach. Sometimes, right before I go to bed, my husband will make me hot chocolate. It helps me sleep and it reminds of my mother who had a nighttime ritual of a cup of cocoa with a scoop of cool whip. Some nights I just need that little extra TLC, that connection to times past, people gone. It was not the hot chocolate that made me sick ...it was the stomach bug. It kept me in bed all day with my head slitting in two. Often, when I was sick, it would be Phoebe who would come and climb in with me. I'd wake up to find her there ....keeping tabs on me. I miss her.
But as I lay here not being able to move, I remembered a funny story from years ago. It s funny story now, but at the time it had me tied up in knots. A friend had asked me to watch her three children for a couple of hours, which was fine and fun since our kids all played together. In they came,sharing toys, cups, snacks! When the pickup time came, my friend told me she had failed to mention that one of the kids had been sick that morning. My heart sank. One thing with larger families and illness is that it races through the house ...if your lucky, only once, but usually at least twice, and often three times. At least that has been my experience. I was homeschooling everyone except my son who needed to be driven to and from school, and my husband's job is such that he couldn't help with that. So I knew I was in for something.
I spent a week washing laundry, changing beds, serving ginger ale, sherbert, rubbing tummies, holding and rocking. I was exhausted, not having slept for many nights. My husband came home and reminded me that one of the local stations was coming to interview us about smoke detectors. "Today?" I asked. "No, not today, I think next week" he responded. The phone rang, he answered. "Okay, so you think you'll be here in about twenty minutes." I panicked, my house was trashed ...there wasn't a clean surface, I was a mess, my kids were a mess and here we were preparing to have reporter and camera crew to come in and interview us. Twenty minutes wasn't nearly enough time to straighten out the house. We tidied and cleaned best we could, but the spot we hadn't touched at all was where the best lighting was for the camera crew. I was so embarrassed and offered the excuse that we had been battling the stomach bug. They were all very nice, but inside you know their sizing up the condition of this homeschooling moms home. They left that day with the plan to come back in two weeks at 10 PM where they would turn on the alarm and film our children waking ...seeing how quickly they responded. I was determined my house would be tip top. But oh no ...the unrelenting stomach bug never left and my house never restored to order, nor had I slept very much since their previous visit. The bug had gained momentum. I wanted to cancel ...they promised they wouldn't interview me and that it would all be fine. Making it worse for me was that another family was being interviewed and tested as well ....and their house was perfectly decorated with matching comforters and curtains ...nice and tidy ...pretty for the cameras.
I had given up ....that night my children were sleeping on bare mattresses, bare. Some of them were sleeping with old, stained army sleeping bags because that was a all we had left. I had not been able to keep up with the laundry. ON our patio, the entry way to our house, comforters, blankets, sheets were strewn all over, slimy with the remnants of stomach goo. It was a very very bad scene. Again they assured me it didn't matter, no one would notice, and in fact they didn't notice it either. I had on bad clothes, my hair was filthy and all askew, I was exhausted and in a nasty mood. They promised they would ask me no questions. They set off the alarms and filmed the bare mattresses, the kids climbing out of bed in bizarre pajama clothing. They looked strained and drained after weeks of upset stomachs. All of a sudden, the microphone is stuffed in my face. Like a lunatic, I answer questions I find silly. I just want to clean my house and settle my kids. They packed up and left. I don't know if I've ever been happier to see someone leave my house. So, that episode aired on the local news, exposing my home to the local world. Years later, someone called to say they found it on the internet by accident. Yeah!
This stomach bug wasn't as dramatic, but if you know one of your kids have it ...don't silently spread it. Its hard on us moms of many ...keeps going round and round. My kids were too young to really remember that story ..they have some vague memories. But Phoebe would have laughed with me today, she was a big part of that story. My helper in so many ways.
We ended up being sent to Florida to film an infomercial about this smoke detector. That was nearly as grueling, but not quite. One of our daughters had a small bit escaaping from a house, while we waited for her in the driveway. I think we spent 30 to 40 minutes on retakes because my husband wasn't looking at his watch the right way ....which turned out to be rather awkward and unnatural.
Its hard to remember when I can't share it with Phoebe. She's still supposed to be part of my day. I want to remember my times with her, but I want to remember them with her, laughing with her.
Two days marks six months of life without her by my side. Hey Pheebs, I miss you girlie, more than I can say! Love, Mom
Eternal rest grant unto Phoebe and may perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace. Amen
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