There's lots of things racing through my head ...but it all comes back to God. There is no sense in this world without Him. Frustration settles around me as we make our way raising this family, keeping Christ at the center while finding no sense of Him beyond a very very small circle And yet, there is the profound, tangible blessing of people in our lives that serve Him so well, with great love, devotion and obedience.
Beyond these blessings is a culture so full of vulgarity, intemperance, and an inability to promote, appreciate or even recognize the truly beautiful. This thought was pointed out by our pastor this weekend. He cites the writing of Anthony Eselon, a professor at Providence College. Eselon examines how our culture has become so base that it destroys one's ability to recognize true beauty ...truth in life. Look around, turn on the TV, glance at most magazine covers, listen to the lyrics of the most popular music ....does it pronounce or promote true beauty? Does any of it reflect the beauty of God? Elevate talent to give glory and praise? Think long and hard about those questions ...and then consider raising your children in this environment. Where is this all taking us?
Last night a friend shared an observation that reflects where we are all going ...who we, as a culture, are becoming. "Remember" he said, "when we were younger and a funeral procession would pass by. Cars would stop, walkers would stop ...pause, give the courtesy of recognizing a life that had passed. If it was clear the person was a veteran, hands would be placed on the heart." Yes, I remember. Now, no one pays any mind. Cars cut through the procession ...paying no courtesy. It's one simple observation that speaks volumes. What are we caring about these days?
Those of us trying to raise our kids with good, strong fiber, far too often stand alone ...seemingly archaic, unrealistic, overly protective. We limit computer, TV, movies, music ...we pay attention to the tightness of clothing, the shortness of skirts, trying to preserve dignity, a true sense of self, modesty ...and we stand alone.
We expect time together as a family, regular prayer, belief in our obligations to God, the seriousness of our responsibility to Him ...and we stand alone. We explain to our children that while the world tells them to try out multiple partners for compatibility, and the younger you start the better ...that physical intimacy is for marriage, designed beautifully to participate in creation ...and we stand alone.
And while I have been extraordinarily blessed with friendships that share these ideals ...our every days are not together. We are separate, standing alone, imperfectly seeking, striving to serve God and give Him what is rightly, justly His. Our voices are far too often ridiculed, looked on as peculiar, old fashioned. But the Truth does not change over time ...it transcends time. Some truth changes, like "it is high tide right now." Certainly it will not be high tide in six hours ...so that kind of truth changes. But God's truth never, ever does ...regardless of the changing culture, fashion, desires. Just because we grow tired of certain truths doesn't mean they cease to exist, or even that we cease to be bound to them.
Once we give way, and take upon ourselves to 'change' the truth, we damage our ability to recognize it. Finally, we will cease to recognize true beauty ...because truth no longer exists in our minds, in our worlds. This is what Eselon describes ...we become Godless ...a perversion of beauty takes root ...and anything can then be called beautiful ...even a dress made of meat!
But alas, there is hope ...and that is where we can find God ...in this hope. When I watch my girls among friends from similar families ...the interaction is radically different ...it is pure, laughter flows freely, encouragement abounds, phones get put away, they sing, they dance ...they live. No one worries about the brand of shoes, if there hair looks okay ...if they "fit in." Why, here in this safe haven ...even parents are acceptable. The word "no" isn't a form of assault against a child's rights. Limits and boundaries may not be liked, but they are accepted, not argued over. So very different than relationships that are more focused on the culture, where an intense pressure to be accepted presides.
In these tiny glens of friendship Christ reigns ...His name doesn't even need mentioning ...because it is naturally ordered to Him. It is right. Oh, how I wish we could all live together without the distractions and lies of this world. Don't get me wrong, there is so much beauty around us, so many wonderful people around us and far beyond. But let's be honest ....can anyone defend the current TV programming ...cable or network?
For sure there is hope in these friendships ...and like the spider's web, a delicate, fragile, but certain weave makes it way far beyond us. Our connections, connect to others ...and so forth, creating a frame for goodness and beauty to one day take hold again in this lopsided world.
Several years ago, my husband and I joined in a wedding celebration ...the daughter of our good friends. We were so thrilled to be part of an event that unfolded over many months, filled with lots of consideration, prayer ...and hope. It was in the process of this wedding taking place that I stood in awe and with such gratitude as I saw the love of two families intertwine as they each presented their child to be married. They married younger than most these days ...but with wisdom and assurance, often lost on couples much older than them.
Today we spent the day with this couple and their three beautiful children ...and soon to be baby number four.
I am twenty years older ...and tired ...but they give me such hope for the future, and just by being themselves they offer promise to my kids. And while they themselves are such an incredible example and witness ...they arrived where they are today because of four very strong, principled people ...their parents. Two of them are dear friends of ours ...and I dare say that without these two people, along with their crew of eleven amazing children (yes, that's right ...eleven ...and yes, that's right too ...amazing) my own family may not have made it this far since losing our precious Phoebe. If every parent could spend ten minutes with this couple, I believe we could change the world ...and put it on course toward the ideals, principles and virtues that make a culture good and right. They do not have the microphone, the spotlight, the stage ...but, if they did, we would all benefit.
The other set of parents, I've met a few times. And though I do not claim to know them in any strong way, I know enough to say they do not shrink away from their responsibility as parents ...even of adult children ...and that in fact, when they do have the microphone, the spotlight, the stage ...we do benefit. They do not shrink away from their place before God ...and they give Him His due. I find a tremendous amount of hope in these two couples who are changing the world around them ...and because of that, my family, my children, myself ...have the promise of a better world, a more rightly ordered world.
This man, along with his wife, has been given charge over Catholic University of America. This past January, this fine gentleman was inaugurated as President. CUA is one of the few Catholic academic institutions that truly strives to remain so, rather than accommodating a demanding, spiraling culture. I have not been asked to give a nod their way. But since my friends return from the ceremony and hearing the reflections from the parents, young adults and teenagers ...a few times, I wanted to learn more ...and also since my twelve year old has announced it is in her top three college picks, I figured I should look a bit closer. I've liked what I've heard and seen. Here is the link to President Garvey's inaugural address. Keep in mind he is an intellectual ...I am not, so I had to read closely, but well worth the effort. Or, just google CUA and navigate around and you will see some wonderful, hopeful things.
http://president.cua.edu/inauguration/GarveyInaugurationAddress.cfm
Keep President Garvey and his wife in your prayers, and our other friends as well. Beauty can be restored one lens at a time. Our ability to observe and know what is truly beautiful can be restored bit, by bit, or in one massive sweep. As parents, our job is to teach, show, witness true beauty for our children ...to lean hard into God in all things. The treachery, deception is out there telling our children otherwise. And that can be tremendously overwhelming, especially when you've already lost one to the lies of the culture. But there is hope ...examples for all of us to follow, learn from ...appreciate and respect. Here are two couples, raising families ...(because even still when our children are grown ...so much is to be done) ...lighting the way, beacons really, in a chaotic world that distorts the beauty Prof. Eselon speaks of. I am blessed, we all are, that they walk this earth.
Tonight I will pray the fifth Sorrowful mystery, The Crucifixion, for all your intentions.
Crucifixion & Death: Luke 23:45-46
And the sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was rent in the midst. And Jesus crying out with a loud voice, said: Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit. And saying this, he gave up the ghost.
At the Last Supper, when the hour had come to complete His oblation of self, what did Christ say to His Apostles who were gathered around Him? "Greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends." And this is the love, surpassing all loves, which Jesus shows us; for, as St. Paul says, "It is for us all that He is delivered up." What greater proof of love could He have given us? None.
Hence the Apostle declares without ceasing that "because He loved us, Christ delivered Himself up for us," and "because of the love He bears for me, He gave Himself up for me."
"Delivered," "given"--to what extent? Even to the death on the cross!
What enhances this love immeasurably is the sovereign liberty with which Christ delivered Himself up: "He offered Himself because He willed it." These words tell us how spontaneously Jesus accepted His Passion. This freedom with which Jesus delivered Himself up to death for us is one of the aspects of His sacrifice which touch our human hearts most profoundly.
Eternal rest grant unto Phoebe and may perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace. Amen.
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