Forever, the days leading up to the ninth of each month, will find a sinking sorrow ...that day, October 9 is the post in the road from which all other posts are measured. We're about to place our eighth in our unending trail.
This early morning, we woke, unexpectedly sad and anxious. One of our girls, quietly, without knowing the state of my heart, played this song ...and it is just what I needed ...helped me put words to the free fall I was in ...and more importantly led the tears to spill.
Phoebe was such a unique ...incredible girl. The missing is so so hard ...and the unanswered questions haunt me at times ...while at others I just find joy in the having of her for seventeen years. But like anything good ...I want more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3_85GXsKqk
God is the only answer in this world ...and why, oh why, oh why ...do so many adults lead our kids away from that truth ....that's my 'why' question for the day.
As hard as it is today ...I choose joy for the day ...gratitude for the power of her life that steamrolled through our lives for far too short a time ...but still, she lived ...with a zest few will ever know ....she lived.
I miss you girlie ...my Pheebs ...why?
Eternal rest grant unto Phoebe and may perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace. Amen.
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