Pretty soon after I started praying the rosary, I found myself part of a mother's group. We gathered every week and learned about our faith. I learned more in that first month than I recalled learning in all my years of Catholic education. I learned about the treasures of the Church ...the sacraments, the virtues, the devotions ...so many things I never knew. I felt quenched not having realized how parched I was. Also, there was the exchange where mothers shared their lives and how they lived their faith day to day, striving to serve God, their husbands and children. The reality of raising children to adulthood with a solid faith intact seemed daunting. I was disappointed to learn their was no magic formula. Entrusting our children to Our Lord, living a sanctified life in every bit of our day, or at least, trying to would at least set an example that would stay with our kids for a lifetime. Even in rejection, they would have the Truth to come back to. To this day, I fall back on so much of what I learned there. It was in that group that I forged some of the most important friendships in my life. It was in that group that Phoebe was loved, along with my other children. These women delighted in my Phoebe. Two of these women met me at the hospital that dreaded day. Another descended with her husband and kids to literally save us from drowning in despair and disbelief. And many, many others who come from this incredible group of women. All women striving to love God and serve Him ...that's it ...in all the simplicity and complexity ...that is simply what drives them.
They taught me how to cultivate and foster meaningful friendships ...and so I gained even more friends over the years including my rosary group, a force in my life that is like a limb, my own leg or arm. When Phoebe died the rosary group established 'base camp,' took painful tasks out of our hands and made our burden lighter. These friendships combined continue to save us, restore us, offer hope and love. These friendships reflect the love God has for all of us. These friendships are women who live their faith, have accepted all the treasures of the Church ...even in hostile territory. None of them cower from the Truth. All of them defend the faith, defend God when it would be far more comfortable and simpler (in the short run) to stay quiet and go along with 'cafeteria Catholicism." All a treasure, and more ...they are the backbone of our lives.
I'm not lucky ...I'm blessed, extraordinarily so with the friendships I have. It is highly unusual for one person to have the kinds of friendships I do ...but that's how God has blessed me. They've kept me on the path to genuine faith, to live a Catholic life that strives to 'love, know and serve God." The first time I heard that teaching, it was tossed out and laughed at. While the room chuckled, I sat there star struck. It made perfect sense. Why was I learning this for the first time at the age of thirty five? It made perfect sense to me and has since become a mainstay in my life.
My point here is that I learned so much about my faith and how to authentically live it through these many women. Why are any of us deprived 'the basics'? Why has our faith been so watered down that it really is just about feelings ...the warm and fuzzies, the high fives "you're so great," the "you can believe whatever you want" has left the Churches empty, has left Christ alone ...and has led far too many people astray.
When I first learned these treasures, they were hard. I searched for loopholes, ways I could revise the teachings ...or even ignore them. As I prayed the rosary every day, clarity came, a desire to serve God became rooted in my life ...and I surrendered somewhat to the Truth. Some would argue that I just gave in to rules and regulations ...but in reality, I just became less of me and my own pride, and started opening to receive His grace ...His amazing grace. And that has not been an easy road with no cost. It makes us stick out when we just want to remain invisible. But that's part of the cost of following Christ.
Even in our own Churches and with our own priests and the people sitting in the front pews, large families (more than two or three kids) are gawked at as if we are an oddity. In reality, we are the backbone, the future, the guardians of the Church. Catholics are open to life ....we accept the lives God desires us to have ...and we don't prevent that from happening. Is that easy? No! But it is trusting and obedient and graceful. Plenty will tell us that's the 'old' teaching. But the teaching of the Church is timeless ...the Truth is timeless. We don't get to pick and choose when God gets to act in our lives. When we do ...we put our souls in jeopardy ...for eternity. No kidding. But that is a tough thing to accept. Trust me, I know, I spent years thinking I could modify whatever I wanted to make it work for my life, my agenda, my pleasure. I had to take a hard look at who I was and why I accepted or rejected my faith ...and what it asked of me.
But now, as I try to pass along the faith and teaching to my kids ...they see a world where most Catholics they know laugh at what the Church teaches ...and that is a very, very sad state we are in.
Hope and trust, hope and trust ...that through all this craziness of the culture and the wreckless abandonment of faith ....God will protect and preserve them.
These women friends of mine ...have children, and our children have grown together and forged friendships that will last ...and keep each other closer to God. That is my great hope.
Eternal rest grant unto Phoebe and may perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment