When Phoebe was about eight a very popular song by Andrea Boccelli and Celine Dion was heard quite often on the radio ... A Mother's Prayer. This was the first time we recognized the particular beauty of Phoebe's singing voice. With such seriousness she would sing that song to us, to me ...and she always did such a beautiful job. Later, she would compose her own songs ...and very reluctantly she began to play them in our living room for all to hear. Her voice was rich and soulful, her songs, more of a blues or folk ...they were powerful, meaningful songs that could tug at your heart. She would pound the piano keys and often times stun us with her command ...untrained in voice and piano ...she had a natural talent. A friend recently saw a girl, biking with a backpack and skateboard strapped to her back ...She said "She did so much ...and what about American Idol ...she could have definitely done that." Phoebe had spent two weeks in Utah with Outward Bound. That following winter her friends from her trip contacted her. "Hey, why didn't we see you trying out for Idol." We learned then she had entertained them around the campfire at night with her music ...and they had loved it. So did we! Her room is filled with papers scratched with lyrics ...she could play with words, capture emotion ...and set it to music.
Truly, the funnest part for me as her mom was when she would sing with her sisters. They would sit side by side and play away ...and sing. Phoebe encouraged and taught them her way. A gift she left with them. Then there were the times when they would sing the songs for The Sound of Music, and Phoebe would be the Mother Superior ...it was so, so funny. The laughing would ring through my house ...and I knew, in those moments, that all would be well. It doesn't feel that way today. I woke with a very heavy missing ...a need for her. I want her to be playing the piano and singing, giving all of us orders ...I can't tell you how much I want that. Just to touch her, see her ...hear her voice ...to just listen to her voice ...I don't care what she would say ...just to listen. So I remember that song she used to sing, and remember her young voice ...and I wonder if ten years ago she sang that song for me as a gift for now. God's time is so different then our own. If it soothes me, I will take it as a gift, thinking maybe it will settle this sad, broken heart ...and believing that prayer was answered, and that my girl is safe.
A Mother's Prayer
I pray you'll be my eyes
And watch her where she goes
And help her to be wise
Help me to let go
Every mother's prayer
Every child knows
Lead her to a place
Guide her with your grace
To a place where she'll be safe
I pray she finds your light
And holds it in her heart
As darkness falls each night
Remind her where you are
Every mother's prayer
Every child knows
Need to find a place
Guide her with your grace
Give her faith so she'll be safe
Lead her to a place
Guide her with your grace
To a place where she'll be safe
Hey Pheebs ...thank you!
Eternal rest grant unto Phoebe and may perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace. Amen.
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